The combination of the cognative issues with the inibility to detox and the body becoming toxic results in complications to treat lyme. Earlier in 2014 my toxin level was tested, I had three times the normal amount of toxins, meaning my body was extremely toxic. We tried several detox methods but my body will just not detox.
Halfway through 2014 we (my doctor and I) started to notice significant resistant to antibiotics. We tried several different types and all the results were the same; my body's wouldn't take anything.
In Septemeber 2014 we determined that my body was giving up. We decided to stop all medications at this point. At the end of September I was bit by a second tick; this time on the west coast giving me the west coast strain of Lyme Disease (lyme disease is different depending on the region). Immediately following this bite and bullseye rash I visited my doctor. During this visit he told me that the neurotoxins are making my depression much worse and my body can not deal with the antibiotics at this moment. He said it would cause more damage to start them up at the time, than the second tick bite (which was already showing symptoms). At this time we decided to continue staying off antibiotics.
Since my visit in September, I've had 4 ohone appointments with my doctor. In October he asked me how I was feeling and I told him my symptoms were overwhelming and I thought maybe I should try antibiotics again. After a lengthy conversation he told me the signs are pointing to that starting medications against would push me over the edge. Since this appointment, because of my severe depression and the neurotoxins altering my brain, he alerted me that if I had any sign of hurting myself or others to call him immediately. I asked him again about starting antibiotics, he told me that he had a patient just like me who thought they could handle the antibiotics, and he believed her. But once she started them again, because she was still having resistance to them, it was too devastating for her not to get results plus the over flow of the neurotoxins causing her altered mind it pushed her to kill herself. My doctor was afraid of the same for me.
At this appointment he mentioned to me to come to California for a month to try a "last step" detox program called the Patricia K (PK) protocol. Before I did that though he wanted to try a couple more extreme detox attempts at home, which ended up having no help for me.
About my depression he changed my antidepressant several times since October. The last one he put me on was one of the most powerful available, and when that didn't work to help me, he added a second to go along with it. These did not help.
My depression is extremely severe and no longer manageable. We are at the last most extreme attempt to right it, and that step is the Ketamine treatment. This treatment is used occasionally on suicidal people admitted to the hospital. Recent studies have shown that it can turn depression off almost instantly. This is my last resort.
January 4th I am traveling to California and will be there for 2 weeks. Each day I will be getting IV componates of the PK protocol to help me finally detox. Once my body has actually detoxed I should be able to start medications again. Towards the end of the two weeks I go in for an IV of Ketamine to help my depression. Following this treatment it should bring me back to a level where antidepressants start to work again.
Most people don't understand 'severe depression'. Commonly depressed people see their depression as severe but it is not. There is a level of depression where you uncontrollably tear at your skin, have no ability to function or control your outward reactions, feeling the necessary of admitting yourseld to a mental health facility or hospital, and absolutely hate everything about yourself and who you are to the point of making yourself sick. This is where I am. Still in this stage of depression, you can still try to hide it, which I believe I have. I am barely even a step away from the stage of hurting myself or hurting others, and that is the stage we will hopefully completely miss thanks to the Ketamine treatment.
I said before that I really need to be back on medication; its a catch 22 though, damned if I do, damned if I don't. The pain has gotten so bad, I have a really hard time walking and I've had to get a cane. My joints have a difficult time moving. There's something going on with my right foot where I can't even move it at all without shooting sharp pains that nearly knock me down. I need medication so bad, I really hope this stuff works so I can get back into it.
I've lost majority of my hope. But I still have this tiny little bit that this will work. If it doesn't, who knows?? We will cross that bridge if it ever comes up. I still have some hope and I still see myself as a strong person.
With all this said, if one more person complains about a stuffy nose being the death of them I'm going to flip my shit. Which is why I've blocked from seeing practically everyone on my facebooks so I don't see that stuff anymore, I've also been limiting my facebook time. I will not be on facebook from now until all the treatment is done. Keep in mind I do have apps connected to facebook so you may see pictures posted. I'm done looking at facebook, as well as basically all social interactions (they all drive me to tears) until after January 16th. If you wish to contact me between now and then you may text (do not get upset if I don't answer) or email. I'm not in the correct state of mind to deal with anything.
Wish me luck in this treatment working.
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